When Pregnancy Doesn’t Go As Planned
It was years ago, but it seems like yesterday. I was 11 weeks into my pregnancy and anticipated hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. “There is no heartbeat.” Those words were devastating. I wondered what I had done wrong. Why had this happened? What now?
Seeing other people go through the same thing has also helped me to know I was not alone in this struggle. This week as I coached a loved one through the pain and grief of a miscarriage similar to mine my thoughts turned to the many mothers whose hearts are broken and who are grieving perhaps silently and alone. As we approach Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on October 15th I pray you will be comforted and find the peace you seek.
I have found myself saying, “My early miscarriage doesn’t compare to what others have gone through.” But comparing yourself to anyone never does any good. During that time my whole world was collapsing. Grief is grief no matter the cause. Everyone grieves so differently and on their own timeline. Never pass judgment on yourself or others and their grieving process.
Once my mind realized my baby was no longer growing it thankfully kicked in gear and I was able to miscarry naturally in the privacy of my home. I’m not sure what was worse, the pain in my heart or the pain in my body. I laid on the floor and cried and cried as I popped pills to help with the physical pain. The contractions came and went just like labor but unlike labor this pain wasn’t bringing me a baby. It just hurt.
Apply a few drops of Clary Sage essential oil to your lower abdominal area to promote contractions and assist in passing remaining tissue.
Apply a soothing oil like Lavender or Deep Blue to your abdomen or lower back for pain relief as needed.
Continue applying layers of Clary Sage and Lavender to your abdomen or to the bottoms of your feet to balance both your physical and emotional needs.